How To Make More Money With More Joy With Lauren Fritsch

TRANSCRIPT AUTOMATICALLY GENERATED Diane: [00:00:00] Hey, Hey, I met today's guest Lauren Fitch at an event a few years back and was fascinated by her mix of really serious business chops and this quest to do business in this more joyful way. So earning serious money and living the good life. And obviously if you know anything about me, you know, that's the way to my heart. Hey Lauren. Welcome to the show. Lauren: [00:00:22] Hi, I'm so happy to be here. Diane: [00:00:24] I am so excited to dive into this with you, but first, can you walk us through your business journey? Because it's really quite unusual and quite fascinating. Lauren: [00:00:36] Sure. So I really started as an entrepreneur when I was eight years old and my brothers and I sold birdhouses and lemonade at the end of our very long drive. We were perfectly situated because we were on a very busy highway and had lots of traffic, but also had a really good spot for cars to pull in and turn around. So it was very convenient and we we all had our own sort of little businesses through high school. I was making purses that I sold. They were kind of Kate spade knockoffs, if I'm really honest about it. And then I, I made dresses for my girlfriends and sorority sisters in college and, you know, sold them. And after college, I knew that the, the traditional path for someone like me with, to go into investment banking, this was the early two thousands or consulting where you were on a plane every week. And I knew that was not my path. And within the first year after college, I decided I am going to figure this out. It's not going to look like someone else's path. And I did some continuing ed and eventually ended up in Italy where after doing some time as a glorified English teacher in a household, that was very well-connected in the fashion industry. I bought a bunch of samples from designers. I thought had potential. I got home to the U S I used my. A credit card to buy a car. And I started traveling up and down the east coast, selling new brands into boutiques and what are called the majors. So the major department stores like Nordstrom Saks that are, and that was my first trial by fire with sales and marketing, with entrepreneurship as a full fledged business. And look, it was hard. The industry is cutthroat. It still is. And I also started to consult with my designers. So I got to touch other parts of their business, including merchandising, design, production, sourcing, supply chain, PR training. So when their stuff does get picked up in a store, could I go train the stores, employees to help them sell the product, understand the product and sell the product. And so that really quite short in the grand scheme of things, because I've been an entrepreneur almost half of my life, you know, officially, so I'm 40 now and I've, I've been at this almost 20 years and it's certainly, there've been lots of iterations, but that very concentrated period of time where I got to touch everything gave me breadth, but also depth. And I was able to pivot and then apply those same principles to a whole variety of other organizations. And always from the top down, I went in working with the leaders. So the CEOs typically, or a CFO, and then I got to, to work with the teams underneath, whether it was the C-suite or a sales team. And that was a really wonderful and energizing part of my business. And I realized that I was on a treadmill that I had created. So I was working for myself, but my schedule. Looked very much like that consulting schedule that I wanted to avoid, which is travel every week on a plane in people's offices. I had someone at home whose job was to pack and unpack my suitcases and take care of my home because I could not do it. It was insane. And, you, know, I had someone making my food cause I didn't have time for that. And I thought, this is not how I want to live. And it was shortly after that, but I met my husband, my now husband and I moved to New York and my personal life took a it had more weight for me at that time. And I started to play. Different iterations of how can we do business and be very successful and use the women's knowledge that we've accrued over time from learning from other people and also from lived experience, but how can we do this differently so that we nourish our whole being so that I can have time to practice yoga or go out into the forest and take walks or spend time with my husband. And now my child. And, you know, they say the, the old Axiom necessity is the mother of invention is we've all heard that. And I think it's especially true. I have a daughter who's very high needs and she's had a long battle with an auto immune disorder that has been harrowing and it turned my entire world upside. And as this was going on and I was experiencing postpartum depression, and then I was experiencing the PTSD of, of my daughter's incredible illness and then yay. Other other assaults on my personal safety. Very frankly, that left me spinning. And yet I still had clients. I had to show up for fewer, but still had to show up for, I still had my daughter and my husband and I had myself. I had to show up for. So I went through a, a really, you know, trial by fire again, but this time it was, how can I make sure that I take care of myself so that I can be present to the people around me and also serve my clients in the way that I want to and make a difference, not just help people make more money, but how can we do business differently so that we're simultaneously changing. Paradigms on what is success and how do we define it and how do we achieve it in a different way that is not going to sacrifice our mental health? How can we not sacrifice our creative practices? How can we not sacrifice our life force on the alter of someone else's idea of success? And so the, the impetus for all that started years ago when I, when I started my business and it's only come to a fruition in the models I've created over the past, I'd say 10 years and been able to practice with, and my licensees of course teach the same models to their clients. And now we've seen over and over, you know, hundreds of people at this point have gone through the joint money matrix process. We see that the world wants a sea change and we have all just been through this collective trauma right. Of COVID. And then there's been a lot of hardship on many levels and we're over the past, let's say four years. Okay. So there's been unrest, we're starting to reconcile race. We've got the me too movement. There is a lot happening and COVID is just one part of it. And so we need as a collective better tools to serve ourselves and money is still making the world go round. So money is a necessary part of it. And how can we come at it from a place of sacred commerce instead of something that is degenerative business, doesn't have to be degenerative. And that's ultimately the focus of where my business is now is the intersection of, of, as you said, joy and revenue and creating a new paradigm for how. Bring these two things together to serve us instead of our lives, serving them. Diane: [00:08:13] I just want to clarify. Anyone listening that when you say that you started bringing and new designers and things, and then you were consulting, there are some really large names in that consulting space. I know Lauren has supermodels and she doesn't name drop, but if she told you names of clients, these are well-known names of clients. This is not her consulting for small. Indie fashion brands this was big business. So she comes with super huge chops and super huge money behind her when she talks about this stuff. So I just wanted to make sure that was really clear because I think you all really modest about your background. So I want to introduce the kind of joy and money combo in a very gentle way, because you know, we don't want to spook people with too much just yet, but I think one of your recent posts, I think I messaged you almost immediately afterwards, because you were talking about the vocabulary we use. As entrepreneurs and we talk about deadlines and to do lists, but you were talking about how you use different words to describe those things in order to make it a more joyful experience. I think that's a really easy entry point for all of us so can we talk about a couple of those examples? Lauren: [00:09:24] Yes. So I love that you asked this. Thank you. And so I'm gonna take you back many years. Okay. My dad has been an entrepreneur since 1988 and he, and I share some similarities. We're probably fairly neurodiverse. He likes to own what he's doing. And so I've had an example, a template for entrepreneurship from a young age, right? So I was seven when he started his business and he started his business because he kept getting fired. So let's be real. And and so. When I showed an interest in entrepreneurship, we started talking about how most people say, oh, I have to go to work. And it's this sort of hangdog, four letter word work. And so my dad and I together came up with a new word that we used to replace work. This was, you know, 20 years ago. And that word is an acronym. E M M a. We don't usually use the acronym. M a we usually say the full thing and it's enjoyable money-making activities. And that's actually the kernel of joining money matrix. Like you can see it right. Enjoyable money-making activities. And so in and look at my smile, right? The second I say, enjoyable money-making activities. I'm like, yeah, but we are conditioned around work to such a degree. That work is for many, a four letter word. Like I don't ever want to participate in a TGI. Culture. Right. Why does it TGIS because that's when you finish the work week and go about your pleasurable life. I think that's really messed up, frankly, and I want us to be in a place and this is a place of privilege. I do want to acknowledge that, that we get to, to actively choose doing enjoyable money-making activities sometimes a small bit each day, sometimes for the majority of our days, but that we bring the intention and energy to it, not the other way around. And so EMM. Became the, the first way that I saw the power of reframing and then also new vocabulary. And I'm a word nerd. Okay. I love etymology. I think it's so interesting. And I often will go to various dictionaries to find the real definition of something If it's a word that we're just so accustomed to. So a couple of the other words that people in my community were having really deep conversations about one specifically is the word goal. And you might think of goal, but goals are positive, right? Well, goals come with a lot of expectation and a lot of weight. The other thing about a goal is that it intrinsically is saying that there's an endpoint and for the people who I tend to hang out with, we know that the end point is not actually the point. It's all of the process leading up to that. Which is where the magic lies. And So for us, the word goal just felt very heavy. And then when you look at the etymology and the word is actually similar to a word it's not used in the U S but the word for jail. Right. And so anybody who's listening in the UK would know that I believe I haven't looked into that. The Gaylor, I don't know how to say it in like British English, but it's I believe in Anglo-Saxon word is my guests. And the combination of, of that, just the connection, regardless of whether at a, at a mill logically connected, just the connection in our, in our sounds. Between the two and between the writing of the two is really fascinating. And so we were like, you know what? We need a new word for goal. Now we haven't come up with one that we all collected. We were like, this is the one each person has sort of chosen something that she thinks represents. And that, that is an ongoing conversation. I'm going to continue to have that conversation. Another word that we have changed is the word the to-do lists. I do not like that word. I think it feels really boring and not fun. And so I was like, well, what's another, another approach. Okay. I use a plan of action. And again, you can see my face light up. When I say plan of action. I'm excited about a plan of action and a plan of action. Feels like there's less judgment as well. And there's less of a time deadline. And you mentioned deadlines and this is for anybody who cares to adopt this new approach. I don't use deadlines. I don't use deadlines with my team. I don't use deadlines with myself and. Like really transgressive in the world of business and it's, to me, it gets done when it gets done and it gets done in its own perfect timing. So you have to have a couple of different belief systems for that to work for you in your, in your Millia, if you will. But for me, just having freedom means that I can work in a way that honors my flow. Sometimes I work very fast. Sometimes I need more space and I love the freedom and the permission to allow my work to come to me as opposed to going out and forcing it and making it happen by a certain point that said, if someone else gives me a deadline that I have to hue to, then I will make sure that I build in cushions of time so that it feels joyful in the moment. And I'm not, I actually had a quote, unquote, someone else's imposed deadline last. It felt super good to commit to, to meeting that in a way that was honoring my own rhythms. And I did some things and it's maybe a longer conversation, but I did some things very differently that maybe other people wouldn't do in order for it to feel really good as I completed that Diane: [00:15:39] so it's interesting when you said plan of action. Like to me, that has a real. Results focus. Like I'm actually doing something towards something. So I really liked that one to do lists does feel to me like I've got this admin list that I just need to just churn through me. Very corporate word for me. I think deadlines, I kind of got there in the end with you, because for me, I love an external deadline. I mean, I'm corporate trained. There's nothing like a deadline looming at me to get me into action. But like, you. I have always been the person who started that work earlier rather than later, because there's nothing more stressful to me than feeling like. It's coming up in 24 hours, 48 hours. Like, and I haven't done it. That to me is so stressful. So like you I've adjusted, what does that look like? What can I commit to? And that's deadlines and quote unquote is what's allowed me to get consistent with my content. It's what's got me over the hump of not being able to blog for years when no one cared. If I blogged versus being able to podcast twice a week, every week. For nearly a year, because I know I have an external kind of obligation to that. So I feel like it's a work in progress. Okay. I'm with you. And it sounds lovely to not have deadlines, but I also feel like I would do nothing. Lauren: [00:16:53] So it's a lot about understanding the own, your own best ways of working. So I wouldn't necessarily advocate the absence of deadlines for everyone, right. Especially depending on their team And how their team functions. It requires a lot of self knowledge and it requires a lot of self-trust and there are a couple of things that I've put in place so I, I speak specifically, I call my people rebels and mystics creatives and impacts, even though we know impacts are very rare. Okay. Highly sensitive and the right brain, right? Those are my people. And a lot of us had come out of very like corporate structure backgrounds. So the challenge that I had when, when helping these clients who have really ingrained habitual rebel patterns is okay, how do we make sure that you have gentle structure? I liken it to you know, the inflatable like pillows on the bowling alley, on the gutters. It's like that. And So I teach a whole curriculum around, I call it ritual and reward, but it's a whole curriculum around. Gentle structures that invite ritual and some habit because habit and ritual are different so that you don't end up in that completely, that space of utter procrastination and non-action right. But that, that psyche, the rebel needs something that's different from frankly, and God loved talking to Herman, but we need something different from the 90 day year. And these very granular sort of, this is my to-do list. it needs to be more flowing. It needs to allow more time for space and it has to have it has to have a component of gentle structure and that gentle structure is going to look fairly different for, for different people. but I have found that that methodology of ritual or reward has provided the pathway to abandoned it. Because things are still getting done because of the gentle structure without needing a hard date. Diane: [00:18:57] So let's talk about the ritual element because. I am sure that many people like me are picturing you. And obviously I know you and you are super creative and into exploring lots of different things. But when I hear the word ritual, I am thinking like, Crystals and alters and I know that anything can be a ritual because, sports, people have rituals and things. But I do think that that is where our mind goes, especially in the entrepreneurial space, because a lot of people have made that sort of element, a core part of their business teaching or their lifestyle teaching. So. Let's talk about rituals and, and what that actually means. And then how that helps us with that, that gentle structure so that we can be this more joyful person. Lauren: [00:19:42] Yeah. So ritual is what allowed me during COVID during a time when my daughter was still very sick and undiagnosed as yet. And it helped me. I wrote an entire album of songs. I'm not a songwriter people, an album of songs. I hosted the ritual and reward workshop for 200 people who had never known anything about me and also put two properties on the market and all the work associated with that, and made an international move in a period of about four months. During COVID and we had COVID so it was insane. 2020 was insane, but ritual is what made that possible. So let me give you an idea of like what, and without going crazy, what ritual can mean and how I define it, because I think that you're very right. When we hear the word ritual, we tend to go towards the sort of more new age spirituality. And look, I love a crystal, you know, I love an altar and that's not the essence of what a ritual is. so the way that I think about ritual is that it is a, an action that we undertake with presence and mindfulness. Okay. So in that way, washing our dishes can become a ritual. If we do it with intention presence, Um, you know, a great example for people who are parents is reading your children books in the evening in a very present way is a ritual, certainly for them. And I love that you brought in athletes because that's a more accessible place I think, to go. So let me share with you a ritual that I had. So I was a college athlete. I was a rower and we've all seen, you know, tennis players specifically tend to have rituals before they serve. You'll see that some tennis players bounce the ball a certain number of times, they adjust something on their body, all ways like it could be their wristbands or their headbands or whatever. Some of them move their feet in a certain way. And then they serve right? For me in college, I had a ritual that was that combined a couple of things. And in the way I teach ritual, you can choose from a buffet if you will, of options when crafting a ritual, simple as always. Crystal's not necessary, but the ritual can encompass things like beauty creativity. It has to have presence. It can also include other elements if you so choose. But at their core, the idea is that you want to apply emotion to an activity that is done physically so that you create a positive feedback loop. You're creating new neuronal pathways so that you associate positive emotions and outcomes with this action. So you want to do it. So it becomes, it's not a habit. Habit is mindless, right? Habit is I, this is just what I do. I could be 80 miles away, but this is what I do. Ritual is not that ritual is being incredibly present. So my ritual, when I got in the boat before. Was something that I had to train myself where it's not something that happens immediately. And I chose a a little motion. And I knew that if I press my thumb to my pointer finger, I was going to call my central nervous system. I was going to calm my nerves and I was going to be more relaxed and I would usually take a deep breath, get really centered, took no time. No one else would even know I'm doing it, but it was my ritual so that I could prepare myself at the start line to be ready to go. Okay. Now, when you're thinking about ritual, that that's one thing that can change my state, right? I have rituals around my financial admin. I have rituals around plant care. I have rituals around my writing and business planning. I have rituals around content creation and it sounds like a lot of work, but ritual is actually take things off your to-do list because once something has become a ritual, it no longer needs to go on your plan of action because you just do it, but you do it mindfully, not like a habit, right? So rituals for, for me. And then for the, the people who have come through the ritual reward program, they formed. A loose and gentle structure so that they are excited to do the things that maybe in the past, they had dragged their feet on a little bit. So if someone is really struggling with podcasting, for example, then they would want to create a really nice ritual to lead up to their podcasting and then to bring closure to that session so that they're training their brain to be down with this yummy, delicious ritual. And sometimes you need to add a little bit more, which is why it's called ritual and reward. Sometimes you need a little carrot and ultimately what happens is once you do it enough with the carrot, you no longer need the carrot because you've trained your. To enjoy doing whatever it is, which has happened with me. I used to need a carrot to do my financial admin specifically in taxes. I no longer need that because I actually enjoy the process because I've ritualized it. So that for me is the ultimate goal that we're not just like cracking a whip and making ourselves do the necessary things we need to do to make money it's that we've created a dance of life that we get to participate in. And it is again, generative versus degenerative to be approaching it that way. It doesn't require willpower energy force. Diane: [00:25:49] Let's stick with the financial stuff because people have so much around this, like not wanting to check bank accounts, not wanting to do financials, bookkeeping, spreadsheets, panic, panic. Lauren: [00:25:58] So let me break it down for my financials and I'm really open about this because I know that this a very alternative approach to getting things done . So on Mondays, I Money mindset Mondays. So that's always the day, it's a theme, right? That's one way to create gentle structure, money mindset. Mondays for me generally look like I do a specific money mindset activity on what my belief system is. And then I can release it. I have a small ritual around it. It's super chill. It literally just involves music and I'm feeling super inspired. Then maybe I'll light a candle. Right. And it's the process that feels really good. And if I miss it for a Monday, it's no big deal, but that's what I do. I have my money Mondays and that's important. Right. And because I like it and I've created a pleasant ritual around it, I want to do it. And when I don't do it, I miss it. Now when it comes to admin, I also have a theme day. So that's Friday finance, Friday day. I do a lot of things related to finance, so on finance Fridays. That's when I, and I'm managing a couple of different businesses at this point because we have a business interest in the Dominican Republic that has several different arms and then I have my own business. And then we've also got our real estate in the U S so finance Fridays. Where a lot of the stuff that we tend to put off gets done and I do it on Fridays because I don't schedule meetings and it's a theme. Okay. And in order to help me with it, especially at the beginning, I gave myself a reward at the end. So I use that usually in conjunction with doing what I call my financial rounds, which is checking balances and just making sure that everything's set because we live in now a different countries. So we have bank accounts in multiple countries the ritual is really simple. Again, I play really good music. I sometimes wear a costume because I think it's important to embody abundance. And one way that I can help myself do that from the outside in is by wearing a costume. So I'll put on like, I'm this glamorous, so captain with gold sequins on it and it's super Lux and I'm like, Ooh. Yeah. And I put on jewelry and that's enough that has enough conjuring power for me, talismanic power to get into the, the. Finances because I'm like being a mogul, right. That's what I'm doing. Diane: [00:28:24] It's really helpful to hear you kind of walk through it because that's not what I was expecting. Rituals. And as you were talking about it, things were clicking for me where I do things in my life. So if somebody is listening to this and they're like, okay, hang on a, I need more joy B I'm down for these rituals, whether they want the crystals or don't want the crystals, where's the best place for them to figure out how to get started with them. Lauren: [00:28:50] So I think the best place is I have a joyful entrepreneur quiz and you can find out your snapshot in time, where are you when it comes to joy and revenue. And so you can take that quiz. It's on my website, join money, matrix.com. And I think that's the best place to start because armed with that information, you can see, oh, do I need more joy in my life? Do I need more revenue in my life? Do I need a little bit of both? And then when you take that quiz. you get a pretty in-depth PDF as well as a video describing the particulars that can help you move into both greater joint revenue, depending on the type that you come at us. Diane: [00:29:34] awesome. So to finish up, I ask all my guests two questions, and I think based on our conversation, your answers to these are going to be really interesting. So the first one is what is your number one lifestyle boundary for your business? Yes. You can only pick one. Lauren: [00:29:49] I know I have so many, this is such a good question. Okay. My number one, and this is for me, period, is do what you say you will do. So I am. A perfectionist and recovering from being incredibly independent, Like over independent, which is essentially a trauma response. Right. And so I have to do I do what I say I will do, which is right now comes out in management and it's requiring me to too, instead of being lazy care about things, it's requiring me to set up very clear. Expectations for all the people that I'm working with in any capacity, whether they're clients or contractors or team, and then also making sure that they know what I expect of them and that I am going to show up for them to check on things in, in a specific way upfront. It's been a huge challenge for me because I just want to do things myself and then, you know, get mad. If someone doesn't do it the way I would do it, she's also very controlling and doing what I say I will do, which is leading by example and managing in a way that grows. Other people has really required me to step up in a way that I was not expecting. So I have to do what I say I will do. And then I also expect them? to awesome. Diane: [00:31:26] That's a big boundary. Okay. So that's what I think is going to be even tougher for you to answer. But what's the worst piece of cookie cutter advice you've been given or in your case it might be the one that you hear that as a complete pet peeve for you Lauren: [00:31:41] Oh gosh, I have so many. Oh my gosh. I have so many, but let's see. I think the. I'm just going to say this, you know what? I used to pair it best practices to my corporate clients. I so regret that now, although, you know, our outcomes were still good, right? I no longer believes that best practices exist. I invite anybody to try things on for size, but know that there is not going to be a magic bullet to solve whatever is your problem. It's wonderful to learn about other people's approaches, but to, to think that there is a best practice, I think is a policy at this point in our evolution as business owners. Diane: [00:32:34] yeah, it is such a corporate thing and it really does come from. Legal and accounting and compliance and regulation. And that's usually the driver behind best practice. It's how do I stay on the right side of the line? It was never meant as a business model. Like this is like best practice and business model, not the same thing. If you were in a highly regulated industry, please keep doing whatever best practices are or you will get sued. Please don't listen to Laura and everybody else, not the same thing as a business model. I haven't even thought about that wording since leaving corporate and I just felt the whole thing in my body. When you said it like that immediate, like I'm going to get into trouble so that is a really good one. And I don't think one that we've had so awesome. Well, this has been super fun. I always love our conversations. It was just like go off of like a tangent of like no way that I was expecting. So what's the best place for people to connect with you? Is it social? Is it your websites? I know people are gonna want to continue this conversation. I know people are gonna want to tell you their rituals. Lauren: [00:33:33] Yes. Tell me your originals. I want to know cause everybody already has them. And then when you start thinking about them in this way, then you'll be like, oh, I do that. I do that. So you can email me lauren@laurenfritsch.com. I welcome all email conversation. And if you want to slide into the DMS, that's fun too. I'm not going to direct you one way or the other. I really like email connection at this point. It's really fun and nice. Diane: [00:33:57] This has been so fun, it really has transformed the ritual thought for me from something that just felt very, not my jam into something that like, oh, wait, I'm already doing that. How can I just incorporate it more? So I'm excited to try it. Thank you so, so much Lauren: [00:34:13] thank you. Thank you for having me.