Mastering your mindset in these chaotic times
As Coronavirus (COVID-19) works its way in every aspect of our lives and businesses, anxiety and panic seem like everyday emotions.
In this panel of the Elevate Series, I jumped on a Facebook Live with Susie Moore (SM), life coach and advice columnist and Samantha Hearne (SH) a business coach and anxiety expert to ask how we can stay sane in the chaos of the Coronavirus pandemic.
You can watch a recording of the panel discussion here or read the summary which has been cleaned up for ease of reading below.
Diane Mayor (DM): Welcome to our second panel for the day. And these are two of my happiest and most positive friends who I have brought together to chat with you about mastering our mindset in this really chaotic time.
Susie Moore (SM)is a life coach and advice columnist followed by multiple celebrities. And Samantha Hearne (SH)is a business coach focused on building sustainable businesses without complicating things.
And ladies, thank you for giving your time to this conversation.
I think there is a lot of practical step-by-step planning going on out there, but, as entrepreneurs, we're already living in a bit of a whirlwind, a bit of a roller coaster. So I think this topic is just as important to get out there.
I’d love to start off just getting a sense from you guys of what you're seeing in the crisis. Sam if you want to start, I think your LA trip was an interesting example of how the crisis has impacted you directly.
SH: Yeah, I'll touch on that briefly because it is humorous and I think right now we will need a bit of that.
But yeah, I was due to be in LA for a week, so I left last Friday. So this is a good story, Susie. So I left on Friday. I landed Friday afternoon. Saturday afternoon my flight home got canceled. So I was flying, I flew back home Sunday afternoon. So I was in LA for 28 hours.
SM: By the way that's really far. Are you in the UK? How many hours flight is that?
SH: I did 22 hours in 36 hours roughly. Maybe.
SM: Wow. Oh, I'm sorry.
SH: I think to answer your question, Diane, pre-LA, I was trying my best to just stay in my own lane. I think. I don't watch the news. Anyway, my husband always takes the mick out of me.
I never know what's happening in the world. I've never watched the news. I'm not into politics or anything like that And definitely from my anxious background, I don't want to get sucked into something that I know that right now I have no control over. However, before going to LA, of course, I was keeping a bit of an eye on the news, but at that point, we were still able to travel.
So I thought exactly what I always tell my community. I would always rather regret doing something than not doing it. And I do really believe that. I'd rather go and have to come home and now I've got a humorous story than not go and risk the fact I could have gone for the week and it could have been an amazing transformation.
So I think the first stressful situation I really encountered was the fact that I then couldn't get home. Since coming home, of course, then it's, it's accelerated so quickly in terms of the news and social media. But yeah, that's my LA experience. But I think, on the whole, of course, we're all being exposed to it.
And it's the same with both of you. You know, we're having to almost lead from the front as it were on trying to create a positive standpoint and reframe the situation and come up with solutions. But I would still say, I'm not watching the news. I haven't watched any of the news. The only news I watched was yesterday, Boris [Johnson] doing his announcement at 8:30 apart from that, I'm really trying not to over-consume. Susie, what's, what's been your experience with it?
SM: I was actually meant to be in LA last week and I was going for it. I'm like, you know, it's going to be okay. And like you said, accelerated really, really quickly.
Actually it was a couple of people who canceled on me that made me cancel because I felt willing. I'm like, well, look flights are going, everything must be okay. And a couple of people canceled on me and then I was like, Oh, okay. Probably wise to move it. I feel like, I mean, this is a fascinating period, isn't it?
What we're experiencing here, I mean, I just had my live event in New York on March 6th, which feels like a lifetime ago. And that was just in the nick of time. People traveled from New Zealand, from the UK, from California, Canada. And if it were a week later, it couldn't happen.
So it's, it's so bizarre how, like even like three weeks ago, four weeks ago, something that we're, what we're experiencing right now would be completely unthinkable. Right? How things change. If someone said to you, you really can't leave your house, nothing's open. I mean, Miami's a gorgeous hotspot, right?
So what, but you walk down the street, everything's closed. Windows are up, umbrella’s away. It's remarkable because it's so mind-boggling how quickly this is all happened. So I think, you know, that's part of it too, right? Moving from a place of, you know, what's familiar and consistent to this kind of big shift.
And then, of course, all the noise, right? There's a lot of noise, a lot of opinions. Everyone's an expert or a bunch of different experts saying different things. Yeah, I'm finding it fascinating. I'm curious about the whole thing. Watching what unfolds, being as responsible as I can as a human by staying home, doing all the right things I'm told to do.
But overall I still feel calm because I, like you said, focus on what I can control. And even though I'm in my apartment, in my small space. I control everything that happens in here. And I control my mind. A self-directed mind is the only thing worth having, really the most important thing worth having.
And I'm used to working at home as well. So I don't think it's as big a shift for me. I don't have kids. I don't have, you know, homeschooling like a lot of people in the US you know. Oh, I can't imagine, you know, kind of going from working in an office and then having two kids at home that you have to be responsible for their education, et cetera. But for me, it's not as huge a shift. So, I feel grateful for that, but I'm focusing on what I can do. I'm using this time to create content. Luckily, wifi is working. I mean, we have a lot of privileges.
When I spoke to my mom a little while ago cause she's on her own in the UK, she was like, “Oh darling, you're not being called to war. You're just being called to stay at home.” So I have, I think, a good perspective because I know eventually this will be over, there will be a day when it's over. And so thinking about what I can do during this time to be helpful and to, once it's all over, feel I guess supposedly satisfied with all of this kind of indoor time I'm not so used to.
FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL
DM: So it's an interesting one. You said something, you said, “focusing on what I can control, which is like my mind”. And so for me, I'm in an interesting situation where yes, I'm totally used to working from home but I'm super extroverted and I'm in isolation, in lockdown on my own.
So for me, I'm a traveler. I like to be out, I've never met an event I don't like. I have to really reign my brain and that goes like I want to attack it by being busy.
So I'm like, I could do this and I can do this and I can do that. I mean, the series was pulled together in 48 hours. There’s no way I could have done that in any other week. It just wouldn't have occurred to me.
So how are do you guys, I'm sure there's some kind of daily routine. There's some kind of thing where you're catching yourselves. You guys are much better at this, um, side of things than me. How are you keeping your mind focused?
And then also how do you deal with the contrast that we're being told to be alone, but show up. Don't show up in person, but you better show up online.
SH: Yeah. I think I'm so similar to you, Diane, and we've had two holidays canceled, you know, trips of a lifetime. We plan for say six months. We were going away.
To Peru and Bolivia for three and a half weeks, to celebrate Luke's birthday, our wedding anniversary, and we can't go. We were supposed to be in the peak district the weekend, this weekend coming up. And we love to travel. We go away every three months. Absolutely love adventure. I'm an extrovert. I love being around people.
And the one thing that I'm doing because I think that this will really help anyone in that situation. It's such a good point, actually. I've never even thought about it that way. The fact that there are people that love being around other people, and actually that's the biggest sacrifice, not having connection and human interaction. And it's something that we do definitely take for granted when we've got it, but there's one thing that I'm thinking and it kind of feeds off what Susie was saying just now. I know that this is going to end. Fact!
This is going to end and we will go back to normal and all I'm doing is I'm very much going day by day as if there's no holiday. There was never a holiday. I'm just in the middle of December, you know, October, November, December, this time where we're all just not really doing anything and I'm just going to do the routine that I was doing if I was in that period of time, like the winter hibernation phase where it's cold and raining outside, I'm showing up as I normally would.
I'm giving more, but I'm still just focusing on the day to day running of the business and social media. And when this is over, I am going to plan the most epic trip. So then knowing that it will end is comforting me in the now, but also knowing that I have run the business from my house without seeing people for say a week at a time, which is just normality because everyone's at work.
So I'm pulling myself back to my day-to-day, but I'm fast-forwarding and accelerating to the place when this is ended to get me through. So I'm kind of almost blinkering this current period of cloud because then there's nothing I can do to change that. That would be my instant piece of advice on that.
SM: We're a bunch of extroverts here. I like it because I've seen all the names where people are like, well, this isn't different from my regular life. I've been self-distancing, that's normal, I've been doing that. But we love going out. Look, I love people. Right? And you know, I have a lot of social friends.
I mean, I feel for anyone who had like a wedding, I mean, I can't imagine all the feelings about that. But I think when it comes to like showing up online, you know, I have a couple of mixed feelings about this. I feel like you don't have to, right. I spoke to somebody recently and he's like, I just don't feel like I have an opinion. And you hear all this sh*t about “leaders must lead and step up”. I don't think you have to if you have nothing to really contribute or say, and it's okay to be quiet and I just feel like everyone's not looking at you if you're not saying anything either, because there are plenty of voices out there.
And I think that when it comes to you, I mean, I have a book coming out in two weeks, so my ex expectation for this period was very different. I had a very specific media strategy. I thought I'd be in New York right now. I'd be doing my kind of media stuff. But, you know, that's changed and I'm working with what I have and thinking of ways that I can be useful, like what it is I could share that's helpful.
This is a global crisis. It's very serious. In life, there's never certainty, right? People lose their jobs all the time. There are, there are things that happen to us all the time. Nothing's really predictable about life. And so I think I just applied the same, like the same mentality to it, which is, where can I place myself in this? What is it? If I can be of use or of service, what is it that I can share? And it doesn't have to be profound or original. And I just think that what I'm sharing online is the fact that, you know, within your own space, what can you be doing, what's going to make you feel better.
What's going to uplift you? What's going to make you feel good now and in the longer term? And really that's it. I think it's okay to really just keep it simple and not put too much pressure on any of this. I think too a lot of people aren't saying anything cause they're worried about saying the wrong thing.
Because you know, if you show up at all everyone's like, how can you say anything? This is a sensitive time. We should only be talking about the illness and how it's spreading and so forth. And people are very quick to correct any facts that you may share. So I'm not sharing really any facts.
I'm certainly no expert in any of this. I'm just sharing, what I do to keep myself in a good mood. That's all.
PUT BOUNDARIES IN PLACE
DM: I'm almost like the complete opposite. So you both know but people watching might not, contingency planning is like my, like happy nerd zone.
SM: Yes. So tell us about you, Diane, what you're doing right now?
DM: I can spiral into this, but I was saying to Sam earlier, you know, the second it happened, people reached out to me and were like, can you jump on a live with me? Can you talk about what we can do?
With some really tough questions. You know, where I have had to say, “Hey, I'm not the expert on that, but here's what I am the expert on.” Jumping into people's groups and then the series, and it's very easy to like, I feel like I've talked about nothing else for two weeks.
I think last week I had a very mild case of the virus and that level of fatigue kind of flattened me along with all the mental showing up. And I think for me, that was such a wake-up call too. I don't think I've ever experienced that kind of empath feeling where every call I was on people were like, “Help me!”
That was the energy coming off all of those calls, like, “Give me a solution.” And it was the first time I had felt that pressure day after day after day in a different group. So I think that was really good for me, for my personal growth to be able to be, “Okay, what is my boundary on this?”
Like where am I prepared to draw the line with this? And when am I prepared to go back to business as usual? When am I going to go into, okay, it's December, let me hibernate? Because I definitely think my mindset at the moment is very different from both of yours.
SM: What’s your mindset right now?
DM: I'm quite frantic, but not from a personal perspective but from an “I have this information, I can help people. I need people to be listening to me now, not in three weeks’ time.” It's like this is happening. And there are some really simple things that people could be doing.
And so I'm like, “What if? What if I don't tell the person the one thing?” So I feel a lot of responsibility, I think. And then as you say, every time you show up online, you're just waiting for someone to be like, well, actually I completely disagree. You should do it in this order or that order, which hasn't happened because you know, business is business. What'd you do in a big business, you’d do in a small business to prepare. It's all kind of the same thing, but I think I'm just in a different situation because suddenly I am being called to step up in a way that I haven't had to before. So I think it's, it's interesting to hear you guys talk about like, like controlling it, staying in your zone.
What are you doing? How can I create, how can I help? And that you don't have to. Because I definitely am feeling that kind of boundary coming for me where I've given what I can give at two and a half weeks and I'm probably at the point if somebody reached out to me, of course, I would help. Yeah, but I'm not going to actively go and chase.
SH: When I came back from LA, I then obviously had a free week. I filled up my week back to back. Every one of my one to one clients had a free call with me. In my group mastermind, I did four bonus calls. I did two free group coaching calls. I released a new podcast. I made a new resource for my email list. I did lives as often as I could, very similar to you. But not with any information about the virus because that's, I haven't really spoken about that but in terms of their mindset where they're offering support. So I then gave last week all of my energy and I was flat-lined by Friday because I had just given, I'd come home, traveled for 22 hours in three days. Not really got myself back to normal and thought I just want to serve my clients and my community. And I did. And I think that may be why this week I feel a lot calmer about the situation because I know that last week when I went to bed on Friday, I actually said to Luke, “I feel really proud of myself that the fact that I didn't just go into my own hole and think what's going to happen to my business, like what's going to happen to my life?”
You know, I was a teacher for 10 years of a salary and all of this stuff, and now I'm doing this and it’s great, but now all of a sudden this global thing happened and it just literally could throw me under the bus. Instead of focusing on that and my own concern, I went into that service mode and I think that maybe why this week I feel a sense of strength in myself because I know that I have done what I can for the mindsets of my people.
I've made sure that that was my priority, but I definitely can see and empathize with how you’re feeling because of the type of support you gave, it's so relevant for people. Whereas the mindset stuff is relevant all the time, so there's less of an urgency for it just right now. So I can definitely see how that is making you feel now.
SM: Yeah. You're such a generous person. Like I know you go, you give a lot, right? And there comes a time where you can't. In order to help others, it has to begin with you, right? Helping yourself resting, taking what it is that you need and knowing, you're completely allowed and encouraged to do that, to be a great resource for other people.
I think it's wonderful, this kind of diving into helping others. It definitely stops our own self-concern, right? And anxiety around our businesses, our lives. Cause you’re focused on giving versus worrying. But. I think too, that there has to be a point where, and this is why too I've been seeing these articles lately when people say, I don't want to be told what to do during this time, I didn't want to be told, you don't have to batch my content and do clean up my closet. People just need a break. And when you think about it like this, when have we ever been given this opportunity?
It's almost like, in the US, a Thanksgiving period. Thanksgiving is the only period in the US where things really shut down, right? And not in this way, but people aren't emailing. And there isn’t work talk. That's a very short period and now it's like this is an opportunity for people who are always working, always commuting, always doing the things to have this kind of forced reset.
And yes, because what you're doing now is so useful and relevant, it's natural to kind of sprint it out, but time for you girl!
DM: That's super helpful because I think it is also at a point where I have all the resources that I created, the series will stay on replay. I have options. I have all the group calls. I've answered all the questions. I've written the blogs, and honestly, we're just going to eke into a time where that information is less and less helpful because this is the kind of period where you have to have done it early,
Which also why I'd had to like just drop everything and go. But I must say the idea of just like pretending next week is December and just going back into my business and being like, what do I need to develop? What do I need to create is a very soothing feeling.
IF YOU'RE FACING REAL STRUGGLE
DM: What do you say to people who are maybe feeling the same kind of franticness, but maybe around, “Hey, I'm in the travel business”, or whose business might not recover? For us, our businesses continue for those kinds of businesses where people are losing their businesses, people are having to pivot. It’s a time of massive flux. How do people stay in that “this is what I can control zone”?
SM: Well, there are particular industries like travel, like hospitality, that are particularly suffering.
I think the hardest part right now is not knowing where the end is, right? There are predictions that people throw out, but there’s a real question mark right over when things go back to regular, back to we know, what we're used to. So I don't think there's like a perfect answer here.
I think it's really tricky because there's a lot of concern. If you're in an industry which is hit and maybe your job is over, you have to let go of your team, you don't know what your future is like. People care about you.
I think that the good thing that comes out of any crisis is it does draw people together and we do want to help and support each other. I can't imagine the feeling right now being so uncertain about your career because it's so dependent on people traveling right now and paying you right now for that travel.
The thing that just soothes me, it was just kind of what Samantha was saying, and I think it's probably all we can hold onto right now is knowing that this is temporary. Everything is temporary.
And maybe, even though you may not be feeling it now, maybe there's an opportunity here. One of my clients is a therapist. She has had patients now come to her by zoom. Someone who's a dance teacher, he's teaching his classes, which has been a goal for him for years, he's actually teaching them online. So I don't know exactly what it looks like or what the solutions or the changes will be but I think knowing that it's temporary and that there's opportunity, like even if you can't feel it yet or see it yet, you don't feel hopeful about it yet.
I feel like there will be something and I think that's really the only thing that we can believe and hold onto to remain hopeful.
SH: Yeah. And I think, yeah, 100% I agree with all of that. And then one of my best friends is actually a manager of a big travel company in the UK. So people close to me are, are definitely in that situation where salaries are being cut and things like that. But I, in the UK, anyone that faces redundancy or losing their job, the government are going to pay 80% of their wage with 20% coming from the company. So I think even in the bleakest situation right now, the government recognizes these people.
They know that it's not their fault, and they know that it's a time that we have to come together. And exactly like Susie said, you know, there is solidarity here. No matter how hard it becomes, short term, that's what we have to recognize. This is very short term. So if people are in a situation where they've lost their jobs in the short term, the government all do things.
You know, at home in the UK, we're having three-month mortgage holiday breaks. They're doing all they can to support those people. So my advice would be on top of everything that Susie said, which is so true, please, please get the support that you deserve. You know, everyone is in this together and every person that is facing this level of crisis deserves to get the support that they are being given the opportunity to accept.
So that would be the first thing. Be informed about your options. The options that you have that can lead you to making really proactive choices so that your life is not in disarray and you're not left in this traumatic situation. Be informed about your options.
And the second thing I would say is very similar to what Susan was saying.
Think about the fact that you are so much more than your job. You are much more than the job title you have or the role that you've got. And I know that that affords you the life that you've got and you know, allows you to create stability for your family and your loved ones, but recognize that this is also your time to give back to yourself.
And if you've always wanted to be a kid's entertainer or you've always wanted to do hypnotherapy or meditation, use this time to upscale because you are still you and you deserve to be seen, to be heard, to try something new. And whilst you're being given this opportunity, exactly like Susie said, you know, there is opportunities.
Whilst you’re being given the opportunity for the government and to support you and recognize that this isn't your fault, do something that when this is over, and it is a when it's not an if, when this is over and the economy does start to recoup slowly but steadily, and you are able to go back into travel or go back into retail.
You'll also then have this other thing that you've built just for you and you never know where that can go. So give yourself a positive uncertainty, like, “Oh, I wonder what happens if I do learn this? I wonder what happens if I do practice this?” Because it doesn't always have to be negative uncertainty.
You could choose to create something that maybe turns into something even better and you look back and think, “Yeah thank goodness this happened because I never would have done X, Y, and Z, and then I wouldn't have got my own salon or my own therapy studio, or I wouldn't have done X or learned a language.
Give yourself every opportunity to succeed personally at this time and stay informed about the options that you've got. They would be the two things I would add on to what Susie said.
SM: It's a little bit different here in the US. It's not entirely clear. I think there's relief. It's changing. I think it's kind of fluid. These fluid decisions are being made based on what individuals need. But, landlords are forgiving rent, they're putting you on pause. There is, there is kindness now and it's okay to like you said, it's good to ask for help because people want to help.
DM: Not just government-wise. I think this is an important time for entrepreneurs as a community to find ways to be in each other's space because while there's a lot of talk about people losing their job and the people getting salary cuts, there's less talk about our side of things because we already worked from home.
Nothing's really changed for you unless you're suddenly homeschooling your kids or working at home with your husband, which I imagine is a large adjustment, but take opportunities just to be on a zoom coworking with someone just to be having a chat with someone. You don't have to even talk about what's going on. But for me, seeing other people creating allows me to think about what can I create beyond this? Kind of permission
SH: Very quickly, just before I forget as well, obviously this is a bit of a side note. If everyone, if anyone is listening, America, US, and UK, wherever you are and you are homeschooling. I did a live on my business page all about resources, websites, books, places you can go obviously from being a teacher and doing it for a long time. That parents, if they aren't in the educational space, could find useful. So if you are homeschooling now, there are amazing resources. I even do like little flip screens of different websites and what you can find, how you can make sure that your children don't fall behind.
DM: I'll link to that for people.
SH: Yeah, for sure. And it's like books to buy or like, you know, companies to account for exam boards. Um, and I give some examples for the US as well. So I think that that could be really helpful to alleviate some parents’ stress.
DM: I think it's interesting. The previous panel that I had was a CFO and a lawyer, and a couple of things they said really stuck with me, which I think is knowledge is power. So if, like you said, what you can control starts with what do you know? And then what can you control?
And then that how we show up in this time of crisis will determine how we are perceived afterwards.
So my kind of guiding mindset in all of this is be a good human, which means to me, how do I want to be treated in this situation? And then I show up accordingly. And I think what you guys had been talking about around being able to stay in that space, stay in a space of service where you can and focus on the end, I think is a great reframe of that.
How do I want to look back at myself at the end of this and how do I want other people to look back on how I interacted in this series.
SH: You’ve done a great job, Diane. People will never forget the fact that you have offered so much support and you know, they, they will remember that you did go above and beyond to try and offer help.
And that's, that will go far. You've done your best to help.
DM: And I think can’t serve, whether that's emotionally, mentally, physically, that's also fine. I don't think anyone is judging anyone. And I think if they are, they’re probably people you should be unfriending now.
IF YOU DO ONE THING
So like you said, it's a good time to see who to bring close together and who you should sending sideways. Any final thoughts for people?
SM: One thing that I'll say is that right now because we are home and people aren't used to this kind of unstructured time, it can really lend itself to consuming everything, right?
Because it's so easy and it's all available and the world will have a panic. It's more clickable. We want to hear anything shocking or scary. It’s is where we as humans, where we're kind of protecting ourselves. So consuming scary information. And I would just remind you that you don't have to do that and what you don't see can't bother you.
So if you want to be informed and responsible, be aware. So I read the New York times Roundup. Every day in the mornings they send an email and all the key information is in there. And then that's it. And that's enough. And if something important happens, you'll be made aware.
“It's not your responsibility to just be listening cause people are speaking.“
But it's not as if you have to be glued to anything. It's not your responsibility to just be listening cause people are speaking. We can also completely retreat from that. There's a lot of power that you have over that. So don't just abdicate it. It’s your mind, what it is you're putting in there right now?
It's entirely up to you. And really that's how you experienced the world. It's not really what's going on. It's like you can't go outside so go inside when you need to. Absolutely take care of yourself, take care of your health, make sure that you're doing what you can to like drink water to take the vitamins.
I'm doing all the recommended things to be responsible and then really that's it.
DM: I think it's interesting that you two are both such positive people (if you haven't encountered these two before, you need to go follow them online – they are like seriously the happiest people on the planet) but it's interesting to me that neither of you really consume a lot of news.
SM: Right? No.
DM: That's the thing I picked up with both of you that you have consciously gone, “I'm protecting what I bring in”, whereas I'm the opposite. I'd like refresh, refresh prime minister's briefing. Refresh, refresh.
SM: Right. If it happens now, if it's live where you see it tomorrow, it's the same information.
But like where you put your focus is always going to directly impact your thinking, your feeling, your actions, and your energy. And I feel like protecting energy because fear weakens the immune system. I feel like it's irresponsible of me to be afraid right now because that, that's not useful for me or for other people.
So the best thing is to be like positively selfish and managing yourself and your own health.
SH: Yeah, I definitely nodding away here.
I would add two things. But I would say, although me and Susie are positive, of course, there will be times that we have down moments and those things that you just think, you know, that heaviness, but exactly what Susie's just said. I choose.
I always think about the fact that my content can influence someone else, and I always want to be mindful of how I want someone else to feel when they experience my information. So even if I am having a period of down or worry, I will always share that. But in retrospect, because I want people to know that there's a solution attached.
And especially in this period, my only two bits of advice would be number one, if you are finding yourself consuming a lot and uncertain, don't necessarily share the uncertainty online until you've found your own solution. Because I think otherwise we can breed a state of more uncertainty than is necessary.
And that goes even outside of this. You have to have to be responsible for the fact that what you put out there people can consume. And I would make sure that people that consume my content, they know that I'm real. They know that I have my own struggles, but I will share them afterwards so that they can see that there's, there's a light past that problem.
The only other thing that I would say is now is a really good time, if you don't already, to give yourself like we're, myself and Susie are talking to you Diane with such certainty, but of course, we aren’t politicians and we don't work for the government. But that will come from our way of thinking.
So if you're finding yourself in this wobbly terrain. Give yourself a statement, an affirmation, a mantra or a motto, whatever it is that you know you can come back to. So mine at the moment is this will end and we will go back to normal. That's all I'm saying to myself. This will end, we will go back to normal.
“You just have to give yourself something that you believe in right now that isn't based on speculation or news or the media. It has to come from within.“
I'm not worried about the how's the why's, the wherefores, the implications and all of that. I just know. This will end and we'll go back to normal. And that's what I bring myself back to. So if you are struggling and you're looking at any of us thinking, you know, how are they so calm or together? I say that because calm is different for everyone, but you just have to give yourself something that you believe in right now that isn't based on speculation or news or the media. It has to come from within, you know, like what can you give yourself right now that is going to bring you home and exactly like Susie said, take your inward. That's the most important thing right now.
DM: I love that. My takeaway from all of this conversation together is that we're not responsible for showing up online in that we don't have to show up online, but if we're choosing to, we're responsible for how we show up or not, and we need to do whatever we need to do mindset-wise to be able to do that and not add to the problem.
I think a lot of people are showing up without much thought, just because they feel like they have to.
SH: Some people are doing it to seek comfort from others and what we do as humans. We want other people to feel the same way.
Obviously I’ve messaged Susie before the call in DM and I was like, “I'm so excited for the chat.”
She was like, “Yeah, me too.” Even that, I could have said, “Oh, you know, like what were you going to say?” You can get sucked into that, but let's just show up how we all would act anyway and just be yourself. That's all you can do.
SM: Yeah, I love that. That's an old segment I like too, and this is, I don't remember who it's from, I think it’s been attributed to different people, but sometimes I think too, that if somebody is optimistic or positive, it looks naive. It's like Aargh she doesn't know anything. There's an old saying that positivity isn't naive, it's leadership. And I think it's way easier to be cynical. It is far easier. To be light takes work,. It's intentional. It's very easy to be like [SIGH]. There's nothing that goes into that. You can wake up, have a bad thought, and then that's your day.
It takes like effort, awareness, it takes energy to be very conscious about how you're living and how you're living is an example to other people. Even if they don't see. We’re all energetically connected here in this world. Take responsibility for your energy, how your feeling. Keeping that as clean and high vibing as possible is a responsible act.
And if anyone has criticized you or if you feel even a bit guilty for feeling okay and calm, some people even shared that with me. They're really busy right now but really enjoying spending time with their daughter. I'm enjoying spending time reading. All right, take care of you, we can't control others.
We can't determine what they do or how they spend their time or their thoughts. But being responsible for ourselves and bringing our ideal self or as close to that as we could get right now, knowing that we're human, we're going to have moments of panic and it won't be perfect always. I think that that's a very responsible thing to do.
SH: Yeah, I agree.
DM: I have to say thank you both for all of your time and all of your enthusiasm and energy. As always. I think for me it's kind of the end of the day in the UK, and that was a fab way to end the day for me.
Ladies, thank you so much. I think that was such a deep conversation on a complicated topic, but so actionable for people.
SM: And I would like to say, Diane, thank you to you. I've always felt very supported by you. You've always had this very generous spirit. It's very palpable, but you're really, it's so sincere. You're really there for others and I encourage you to take care of that gorgeous self of yours because we need you.
DM: Thank you. Thank you so much.
The information contained above is provided for information purposes only. The contents of this article are not intended to amount to advice and you should not rely on any of the contents of this article. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this article. Diane Mayor disclaims all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this article.